I am the mastermind behind the failed Turkish coup attempt! I am Mr. Gulen’s secret ‘abi’


Date posted: September 4, 2016

Scott C. Alexander

Is there anyway we can extradite this clown to Pluto?

Actually, what am I saying? Amsterdam is right. It’s ME. I am the real mastermind behind the failed Turkish coup attempt! I am Mr. Gulen’s secret abi.

All the “evidences” point to me, when you think about it. So I thought I might as well fess up:

1. I am a Catholic and it has been know for many years that Gulen is a ‘secret Cardinal.’

2. I have visited Israel three times in the last ten years, and it is well-known that Gulen is a Mossad agent.
3. One time I even visited Mr. Gulen in Pennsylvania IN THE VERY SAME YEAR that I was in Virginia (the very same state in which CIA headquarters is located).

4. I purchased at least one “pineapple” in Ghana on the same day that I visited a Hizmet school in Accra, accompanied by Hizmet sympathizers who actually used their own money to buy me some watermelon at the very same “fruit stand.” (Those who know the secret Hizmet code of African fruit will understand what I mean.)

5. I sit on the board of two Hizmet institutions in the U.S., one of which gives me direct access to one of the primary leaders of the Saylorsburg mafia who takes my messages to Mr. Gulen whenever I tell him to.

6. I once gave Mr. Gulen a crystal paperweight with engraved with the name of the Prophet (s.). There is a little known hadith (not found in Bukhari or Muslim) that “the Christian who offers the round glass to the Muslim after the latter has led the salat will hypnotize the Muslim into thinking he has been sent by the Messenger of God. Beware this one. He is the Dajjal!”

7. The last three numbers of my Starbucks (yes the coffee store with the bare breasted mermaid as its logo) Gold Card are 666, the very same bib number I received in the last 5K I ran in Chicago. (Sometimes hadith are corroborated by the uncorrupted texts of the New Testament–in this case Revelation 13).

Need I say more? Someone please let Mr. Amsterdam know of my confession so the witch hunt can end. Let him know that it was I who brainwashed Gulen and corrupted all his followers, so they are innocent. Tell President Obama to extradite me. No further “evidences” are needed beyond what I have provided above and my own confession. Extradite me to Turkey as soon as possible so that the madness can end. I can’t take the guilt any longer.

Dr. Scott Alexander is Associate Professor of Islam and Director, Catholic-Muslim Studies at Chicago Theological Union.

Source: Facebook , August 20, 2016


Related News

Turkey Deports Journalist for Criticizing Government on Twitter

The editor in chief of Today’s Zaman, Bulent Kenes, said that Mr. Zeynalov’s deportation was an attempt to intimidate the foreign news media after Mr. Erdogan’s government had moved to suppress critical reporting in the local media. “I consider his deportation as a lesson the government tries to teach at micro level,” Mr. Kenes said. “It is intimidation of everyone doing international journalism.”

Parents: Pak-Turk institutions’ control should not be transferred

Pak-Turk International’s Parents and Teachers Association (PTA) on Tuesday stressed against transferring the institutions’ control to other organisations as it will affect the future of its 1500 teachers’ future along with 10,000 students enrolled in 28 schools, colleges. The spokesman urged that if the government found any one from these schools involved in illegal practices, it should take strict action against him.

Nigerian students lament harassment, detention by Turkish authorities

No fewer than 50 Nigerians attending private schools in Turkey, including Fatih University, were recently deported by that country after the coup attempt. Nigeria had ignored calls by the Turkish government to close down 17 Turkish schools in the country. The Turkish government alleged that the schools were linked to Fethullah Gülen.

Erdogan to become an all-powerful democratically elected dictator

Turkey’s failed coup last week has emboldened President Tayyip Erdogan to become an all-powerful democratically elected dictator. The attempt by his opponents to take over the state by force provided him the political cover to destroy all remaining opposition to his rule without no fair judicial process.

Fethullah Gülen’s response to the ‘clash of civilizations’ thesis

RICHARD PENASKOVIC* If Mr. Huntington is a protagonist for Western civilization, then Mr. Gülen is his counterpart, serving as a spokesperson or champion for moderate Islam. The differences between them are like night and day. Mr. Gülen argues that by creating new enemy fronts, Huntington actually sows the seeds for a clash of civilizations on […]

Threat to destroy the Hizmet Movement a hate crime

Erdoğan’s harsh attacks on the Hizmet movement, consisting of followers and sympathizers of Fethullah Gülen, reached a summit when he stated on Tuesday, “from A to Z everyone in this organization needs to pay the price. Either they will accept the presence of this state or they will disappear.”

Latest News

This notable Pocono resident has been living here in exile since 1999

Logistics companies seized over Gülen links sold in fast-track auction

That is Why the Turkish Government could Pay 1 Billion Euros

ECtHR rules Bulgaria violated rights of Turkish journalist who was deported despite seeking asylum

Fethullah Gülen’s Message of Condolences in the Wake of the Western European Floods

Pregnant woman kept in prison for 4 months over Gülen links despite regulations

Normalization of Abduction, Torture, and Death in Erdogan’s Turkey

Turkey’s Maarif Foundation illegally seized German-run school in Ethiopia, says manager

Failed 2016 coup was gov’t plot to purge Gülenists from state bodies, journalist claims

In Case You Missed It

Should Hizmet establish a political party?

Turkish PM Erdoğan’s chain of mistakes

Fethullah Gülen writes for Politico Europe: Muslims have a unique responsibility in fighting terror

Turkey’s Crackdown Extends to Taipei

Terrorism charges against Karaca do not make sense, CHP leader says

Religious leaders, politicians have iftar in Nigerian capital

Critical journalist Ilıcak fired from pro-government daily Sabah

Copyright 2021 Hizmet News