‘We will not learn how to struggle against corruption from you’


Date posted: December 27, 2013

It has already been 10 days that Turkey has been shaking with the corruption scandal that has reshuffled the Cabinet and brought serious international consequences to the country, such as weakening the political position of Ankara in the neighborhood of Syria and Iran and strained ties with the US.

There have been lots of analyses, speeches, statements, some entanglements and intrigues on social media regarding the graft probe and you should probably be tired of all these. So I would like to introduce the issue to you from a humorous angle, which might help you to get a slight overview of the Turkish political tension that is currently ruling in the country.

You are more than welcome to get acquainted with the comments main Turkish politicians primarily want to make in the ongoing process and also with my ideas of how foreign actors would respond if the same happened or somehow related to them.

Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan: It is already 11 years that we have not allowed corruption in Turkey. Even during my imam-hatip high school years I happened to deal with that. Eyyy Cemaat, we are not going to learn to struggle against corruption from you.

Deputy Prime Minister Bülent Arınç: Struggling against corruption is meaningful.

Turkish President Abdullah Gül: No, I was not primed about what you call the corruption probe. Let’s talk tomorrow about this, but anyway if there is such a thing, the government will do what is necessary.

Ankara Mayor Melih Gökçek: Hell, they will succeed in launching the corruption probe if we do not cut down the trees to blaze the trail.

Turkish actor Necati Şaşmaz: fkjghaspıghapghaeğoghğ

Former US President Bill Clinton: I will swear on the constitution that I have nothing to do with this corruption and investigation.

Former US President George Bush: The AK Party-Cemaat rift is something that stands up against democracy, liberty and justice. We need to bomb each stronghold of theirs. But nevertheless, I believe human beings and fish can coexist peacefully.

Current US President Barack Obama: My fellow Americans, tonight I want to talk to you about Turkey, why it matters and where we go from here. The question now is what the United States of America and the international community is prepared to do about it. What happened to Turkish people is not only a violation of international norms, it’s also a danger to our national security.

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad: We had nothing to do with that corruption probe, absolutely nothing. While we are after peace, Cemaat is after war like Israel. Nevertheless, none of us and none of the Arabs trust Israel.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu: Our boys have done it. Well done, boys.

Russian President Vladimir Putin: Corruption? It is not a big issue. Take off your T-shirt and go hunting. I know you don’t drink, otherwise I would say have a sip of Russian vodka too.

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi: Turkey should calm down and do business in Italy with that money. Let me explain why: Italy is now a great country to invest in and the main reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries.

Source: Today's Zaman , December 27, 2013


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